A Mother's Rant

Pride and Humility

2012-01-17T20:04:00.000-08:00

I know that pride and humility are the opposite of each other and that is the point.
14 years ago I graduated from Portland Community College. My major was graphic design. While I was attending PCC I had a job in an office answering phones, filing etc. basically your run of the mill receptionist type position. I did well, but then I've always done well in every job I've had.
At one point, a department secretary said something about how she went to PCC and now look at her. My thought at the time was, "Well, I want to be more than a secretary in an office."
Oh, for the fall of pride. I had NEVER had a problem getting a job or keeping a job.
Then it was graduation time, I won't bore you with how wonderful my grades were or the great internship I had or any of the other things that made me someone great to hire. I will say that a job didn't just land in my lap. In fact I really struggled. I had a few part time graphic design jobs, one full time job and then, poof! nothing.
I finally gave up on graphic design, not because I didn't love it or because I wasn't good at it, but because I didn't feel like I would ever be able to work in that industry. New programs come out almost constantly and I had been left behind.
Now comes the really humbling part. I would love a job as a receptionist or secretary. I have applied to a local school district for such jobs only to have NO luck at all.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and talk to that PCC receptionist that I was and tell her to just stay where she is and be thankful for her job.
No longer proud, but very humble.
Love to you all.

It was a beautiful day!

2011-05-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure, but I don't believe that breaking your arm is on the 50 things to do before you die. If it is, I have just completed one more.
On Friday the 13th (I know, ironic) we were in Utah and babysitting Lilia (see picture). We went to the park, it was a beautiful day. Then BAM out of nowhere came this latter and tripped me. I will skip the gory details and say that the bone that is suppose to be one piece is now in four.
It has slowed me down quit a bit, for example, I have taken most of the day to type this left handed.
I do feel really blessed, for more reasons than I want to spend the time to type, but the following picture represents a lot of them.

Grow something

2011-04-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

The next one of my 50 things is "Grow Something".
Over the last 40 years or so I have had some successes and some failures in the grow something category.
One plant I have had for over 30 years is a shamrock plant. I got the start from my Grandma Houk. I'm not sure where she got her start, but the point is, I've had this plant for 30 or more years. When my youngest daughter, Jeanette (named after said grandmother) got married she wanted a start of that plant. As luck would have it my mother-in-law (MomMay) had a shamrock plant too, also given to her by her mother. So I took some of mine and some of MomMay's plant and planted it in the same pot. If you look at the picture of Jeanette above in the cute skirt she made with my help, you will see a plant in the window. That is the plant that Jeanette has that is from plantings of two of her great-grandmothers. Pretty cool.
Love to you all.

Scuba Dive

2011-04-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

This is one of those 50 Things that I have not done. Will I ever? I don't know. It is nice to have something like this on my list. It is something that I have always wanted to do. I know that scuba diving takes a lot of training, so if I ever get the chance to go snorkeling I will probably count this as done.
Love to you all.

Pass on a nugget of knowledge

2011-03-31T10:52:00.000-07:00

As a mother I'm sure that I have passed on many nuggets of knowledge. The one that comes to mind most recently was a year ago when I visited Jeanette and helped her to make a skirt with her new sewing machine.It was a fun bonding time for Jeanette and I, and she felt very accomplished.
The trip to see Jeanette was the first time I had ever driven to Salt Lake by myself. I spent two or three days at the Family History Library. I would love to go back and spend a week or two at the library.
Jeanette and I also went to the Lion House for lunch one day. After we ate lunch we went out of the lunch area and there were these stairs. They didn't have a rope or a sign saying we couldn't go there so we went up the stairs. It was cool, with the old fireplaces and mantles and antiques everywhere. There was an old piano and Jeanette was about to plunk on a few keys when I said, "Don't, I'm not sure we are suppose to be here without an escort". A few minutes later we were heading down a hall to see another room when this woman comes out of a closed door. She said, "May I help you?". We said we were just looking around. She informed us that this was NOT open to the public and we could tour the house next door. We didn't feel bad, after all nobody had told us that we couldn't, and there was no sign or anything. It was fun.
Love to you all.

My 50 Things

2011-03-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

I was online this evening and I found this site: http://www.my50.com/
It has 50 things to do in your life time. I decided to copy some of them and add them to a list of things I would like to do. Some of the ones they suggest I have no desire to do, so I didn't include them. Some I have done (like the one on this blog entry) some I have not. I will write about each one (or at least that is my goal).

Watch the sun set and rise

I have not done this on the same day, which they don't require at all. But I have many times seen the sun set at the beach. I love that time of the day, it just seems so peaceful and beautiful. Knowing that we are watching the sun go away and someone, somewhere is watching it rise. I have often said that before I die I want to see the sun rise on the beach.
January of 2010 I was able to watch the sun rise at the beach. We were visiting Clifford and Jill in Japan and I asked if we could go watch the sun rise. Clifford was very hesitant to get up that early to watch the sun rise. But he wanted to please his mother so off we went one dark cold morning. What we were surprised at were the number of people that were there to watch too. It was wonderful and beautiful and the Japanese people apparently thought so too.
Here is a picture I took on that day:
Love to you all.

Success

2011-01-02T12:41:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful lesson in Relief Society today. It was given by Bishop Gary Brown. At one point he talked about success in the Gospel (at least that is what I heard, but I couldn't quite find the quote). The thought came to me, "I have been a failure in my life. I am a failure in my career, I studied graphic design and I couldn't find steady long term work in that area. So here I am subbing in the school district. I have failed more times than I can count in losing weight.
The reality is that I am NOT a failure. I succeeded in the important things. I have three wonderful children and two equally wonderful children by marriage. All have been to the temple, two married in the temple. I married a wonderful man in the temple. I love my Savior and I am so grateful that I have been a "success" in my life.
Love to you all.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T14:00:00.000-08:00

Today is Christmas Eve. I have much to be thankful for. Yet I feel a little melancholy. I miss my kids. I had thought that maybe Jeanette and Kyler were going to be home this Christmas after spending last Christmas in Canada. They are just spending Christmas together, which is a good thing and I am glad that they are doing that. I just miss them.
I also miss my Japan family. I would LOVE to have them come here sometime. I'm just not sure if it will happen anytime soon.
I think next Christmas we might have to visit Jeanette and Kyler if they do not visit us. We'll see.
The May family is coming for dinner tonight. I'm still not sure how I got roped into that one, but we are going easy with Costco lasagna, bag salad and (not so easy) home made french bread.
Love to you all.

Christmas

2010-11-30T17:59:00.000-08:00

It is November 30th and I am already a little panicked by Christmas.
I need to get packages mailed to Japan. I need to decorate the house. I need to go shopping for the family in Utah, and then mail it to Utah.
I do have all of the shopping done for the kids in Japan and I plan on mailing things on Friday, but I still need to wrap and find a box for all of it.
I also ordered Richard's present last night. I hope he doesn't look too closely to the credit card this time of year. I can't do debit card online.
After going to Toys R Us today, I think I will stick to online.
I am excited for Christmas, in spite of the fact that only Loradona will be home. I will miss the rest of my kids.
Love to you all.

And a year goes by

2010-11-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

It has been nearly a year since I wrote in this blog. My guess is that everyone has quit checking and this will go into the great black hole known as the World Wide Web. Well, whatever, here goes.
It has been an eventful year. Some good, some not so good.
Not so good:

Loradona lost her job, because her boss is an a** h***. I'm not usually a swearer, but that is just the truth, there is no other way to say it.
I no longer have a steady job, back to subbing. Nothing really underhanded or anything, just no job

Good:

We went to Japan last December and into January. It was loads of fun and I got to see and cuddle my beautiful granddaughter. I can't believe how beautiful she is and how much fun she is.
Loradona moved in with us. In spite of her job loss, she is generally up beat and it is fun to have her around.
I have been doing a lot of subbing, in a variety of spots. Tomorrow I even get to do secretary work.
We were able to buy a new car in June. It is nice to have two cars that are reliable.

All and all things are going well. I still pray that Loradona will get a job. I know that Heavenly Father has something in mind for her.
I also pray for Clifford, especially right now. North Korea is being aggressive to South Korea (bombed an island with civilians on it), so Clifford and his group are going to show support to S. Korea.
Love to you all.

Thankful

2009-12-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

Maybe I am late to do this post, but you know what they say, "Better late than never". Although what my dad used to say was, "Better never late". I don't think that it is ever too late to be grateful. So here goes.
First and foremost, I am grateful for my wonderful husband. He is very loving and understanding of my and my foibles. He has been and continues to be, a wonderful father to our three children. A truly honorable man in every sense of the word.
I am thankful for my three children. They have made such good decisions for there lifes that I am amazed that I have been given the opportunity to be their mother. They are always an example to me.
One of the decisions that two of my children have made is in spouses. I am so grateful for the son and daughter-in-law that I have. I don't think I could have chosen better (although I tried). What great kids, all five.
I am thankful to have a job. I know that I am very blessed in this as a lot of people don't have jobs, even temp jobs like this one. I am thankful for the kids I work with, they make me laugh every day and my heart melts more everyday that I am with them. I am really going to miss them when school is out.
My home. It's not much, but it is ours. It is very comforting to know that this house is ours, not ours and the banks'. I am glad that I had a husband that planned for the future. In a time when I wanted a bigger house he saw the wisdom of keeping our modest home.
I am sure that there are lots more that that I can write about, but for now that will do.
Love to you all.

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-11-12T06:58:00.000-08:00

It is my birthday and I am taking time for a little reflection. My life is mostly good. I have very few complaints. I have a wonderful husband who is imperfect (for that I am truly grateful), but always trying to do his best and to better himself. I have three wonderful children, equally wonderful daughter and son in-law. And a perfect granddaughter.
In the last year I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned that I am good enough the way I am. And that if I never loose another pound I am still a good person.
I think I am more spiritual and peaceful now than ever before in my life.
I have learned that if I'm sad, I need to feel it and maybe cry. If I'm happy I should dance around and have a good time. I don't need excuses to eat, I eat when I'm hungry. Am I perfect? NO. And that's okay too.
Love to you all.

Kids

2009-09-24T15:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I miss my kids so much. They are all so far away it is hard. Loradona is the closest, but she is a good three hour drive (not something you can do in an evening).
Clifford and Jill are the farthest of course, but even with Jill in Atlanta right now, she might as well be in Japan for all the good it does me.
Jeanette is the same, I just miss them.
Clifford called today and you would think that would have helped. In a way it made it worse.
I miss them coming home and telling me all the good and bad stuff that went on at school.
I think it would be better if I think of the things I don't miss.
Okay, here are the things I DON'T miss:
* Driving to three soccer games on a Saturday.
* Waiting up until they got home at night.
* All the money that was needed for EVERYTHING.
* All the stuff dropped at the front door.
* Dirty dishes - lots of them.
I'm sure there are more. Okay, I'm feeling better.
Love to you all.

It's keeping me busy and out of trouble

2009-09-18T20:28:00.001-07:00

As most of you know, for the past three years or so I have been subbing at the local school district in the non-certified positions. Last year was really sparse as far as jobs went. This year the first week was looking the same way. But I just figured that the first week was going to be slow, so it's a wait and see. This last week (the second week of school) I was called to a job on Wednesday. I immediately thought, "Oh no, I've got my visiting teacher coming over and I'm going to go on a walk with my friend that morning". Then they said the hours: 11:30am until 3:30pm. I could do that and still do all I needed in the morning. I wasn't there an hour when one of the other aids asked if I could sub for her on Friday (8:30 - 12:30), I said I could do that. Trying to make this short, I ended up subbing again on Thursday (11:30 - 3:30) and then working 8:30 - 3:30 today. Taking on both jobs. I also am scheduled to work there next week, possibly as long as I want to. Sometime or another it could turn into a "permanent" temporary position. In the mean time, I will have some spending money for Japan. And that makes this grandma very happy.

Health Care

2009-09-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

I want to say up front that I am a registered Democrat. Not that I agree with everything that is said by the D's, but I have to be registered as something and the day that I registered (on or near my 18th birthday), my mother took me to the closest place to register. They asked me "Democrat or Republican" (I don't remember if there were other choices, there may have been). I answered "Democrat". My mother was outraged, "How could a daughter of mine...". Our country was at probably the worst time in political history for our country. President Nixon had resigned and all that Watergate stuff (in case you are too young or don't remember, Nixon was a R.) . So I decided that Democrat was it.
Now Health Care. I happen to believe that HC should not be a privilege. A person doesn't choose to be sick or unemployed or underemployed. Yes, we all know exceptions.
Why should a person that say, slipped carrying groceries up their apartment stairs, put off going to the doctor because they know that it will cost them a months rent?
For those who say it will take away your "Freedom", I say that is a fear that is not based on reality. We will always have freedom to go to any doctor we choose, if we have the money (which most of us have). But where is the freedom for those whose only choice is the emergency room? They don't get to choose a doctor and they may not be even able to choose care of any kind.
I've heard it said "Let the churches help people more". No church I know will pay for chemo or a mammogram. And the "private industry"? I know that some doctors do a lot for the poor. But they can't and shouldn't be asked to do it all for free. Some people have said to me "Private sector is much better at taking care of the poor and needy than the government", that may be true if they are hungry or need clothes or even a place to sleep. But when it comes to HC the "Private Sector" (whatever that is) has done a poor job of taking care of the neediest. The government on the other hand, has done a good job with the Veterans Administration for veterans and Medicare for the elderly. Are there problems? Of course! Can changes be made to benefit those programs? Yes!
Now if we could be like Jesus and just heal people, that would be wonderful. But how about we try and be like Jesus and take care of everyone, and not be a respecter of persons.
Thank you for listening.

The School of Life

2009-09-04T21:20:00.000-07:00

Some things I've learned in the last few months:

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Even if it is someone else that is getting forgiven.
It is not Judgment Day, therefore I should not judge. And if it is Judgment Day I don't have to be the Judge, so I don't have to worry about it.
You cannot change yourself by wishing only by doing.
I am a worthy person.
I am loved and I deserve that love.
Even if I never lose an ounce, I still have a worthwhile life.
Family is everything, but I'm important too.

Love to you all.

Weird

2009-06-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

Here is one of those weird little coincidences that I find fascinating.
I was named after an actress named Debra Paget.
My granddaughter is named Lilia.
Debra Paget played the role of Lilia in The Ten Commandments.
Who knew?
Maybe it's not as amazing as I thought it was.
Love you all.

Gabe

2009-06-08T22:26:00.001-07:00

I am so sad. I am not sure what to do about it. I guess a healthy thing would be to just feel it.
I can not imagine what it would be like to loose a child. I hope to never have to know that. It just feels so unnecessary and wrong. Yes, we can say "It was his time to go" etc. But it just doesn't feel right some how.
I have been saying all the right things to the young women and young men in our ward. But I can't get over the feeling that it didn't have to be.
When I asked my mother in law what I can say to someone who has lost a child, she just shook her head. Nothing. There is nothing to say to comfort them. She did say that it gets easier with time. But right now it just hurts.
Love to you all.

I'm a grandma!

2009-05-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

Lilia Rebekah May was born May 15th 2009. She weighed 8 lbs 4 oz an was 21 inches long. She is beautiful, if I do say so myself.
Here are some pictures:

Love to you all.

2009-04-29T09:48:00.000-07:00

Publish Post

Utah and graduation

2009-04-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

My trip to Utah was a lot of fun. I will try to tell it via the pictures I took.

This is the beginning of the trip. The cat thought she was going too.

We stopped on our way at a rocket display at ATK. Notice the USN rocket.

I just thought this was funny. I'm sure people try it.

This is me standing on the Golden Spike (or where it was at one time). It is now on display at Standford University.

This is one of the original trains that ran on the track. We missed them being actually out by a week.

This is called the Chinese Arch along the railroad line. Richard is posed so nice, don't you think?

Finally Graduation!

Here is the family with the graduate. Isn't she adorable?

A fun time was had by all. I will post more pictures on Facebook when I get a chance.
Love to you all.

My favorite singer

2009-04-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

I came across this YouTube vidio by accident:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkBepgH00GM
Enjoy.
Love you all.

Utah, here I come.

2009-04-18T20:06:00.000-07:00

I am very excited to be going to Utah this next week. We leave on Tuesday (by the way, my brother, the one that used to be a professional wrestler will be staying at the house to watch the cat). So, this weekend Loradona was visiting for my mother-in-laws birthday (it's amazing, she is 75 and sometimes I think she is younger than me). We had a great time visiting with family last night. We got home fairly early (10ish) but Richard and I had to be at the church at 5:15 am for a youth temple trip. So, I was tired. Later after Loradona and I had some places to go, we got home and Richard was gone. We decide that we would take a short nap while Richard was gone. I had just got myself settled with my book and the cat and what happens? Loradona bursts through her bedroom door and yells "WE ARE GOING TO UTAH TO SEE JEANETTE THIS WEEK!". Then she said, "I just had to say that" and we both took a small nap.
I guess I'm not the only one excited to go see Jeanette.
Love to you all.

Happy Easter

2009-04-08T19:28:00.000-07:00

I came across a website that has some great pictures on it. Jeanette, I'm sure you will love it. Here is a sample:

Peeps in a concert hall as U2 as they appear in the film U2 3D.
Here is where you go for the rest of the pictures:
http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/24377
My love to you all.

2009-04-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

I came across this in some old emails and I thought it was good. No, I did not write it, but there are some things in it that I could have

Mothers

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. A nd for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes totally unappreciated!

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation... And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all.
For all of us.
Hang in there.
In the end we can only do the best we can.
Tell them every day that we love them.
And pray.
Love to you all.

Dreams

2009-04-03T07:45:00.000-07:00

I had a couple of weird dreams last night. I wanted to blog about them before I forgot.
Dream #1: We were all excited because I was going to pick up my baby. Apparently we have adopted a baby. This is not back in time, it is currently. Both Richard and I are very excited to go get this new baby. So we get the new baby and bring her(?) home, I am guessing she is about three or four months old. We have a crib for her, mainly because as I tell someone I wouldn't let Richard get rid of it. The baby is a really good baby and never cries. I breast feed the baby, even though I'm pretty sure I never gave birth to her. After I change her the first time and she needs new clothes I tell Richard that he'd better go up in the attic and get some clothes or we will have to go shopping. Oh and all of this is at my Grandma Houk's house, like that is where we are living.
Dream#2: I borrow my parents boat (yeah, they have a boat) and go to wherever Clifford is (I don't think it is Japan). Loradona and Jeanette are with me. The boat, by the way is really nice. It has sleeping quarters, galley etc. So, as we approach where Clifford is we get buzzed by a helicopter, and yes, it is Clifford. But later when I am talking to him about it I tell him I thought he was going to decapitate us, I am not happy. But it is fun to talk to Clifford and have the girls with me in my travel adventure.
Love to you all.

Spring Break 2009

2009-03-28T22:03:00.001-07:00

Loradona and I had a lot of fun on Spring Break this week. There were many times that we wished Jeanette and Jill were with us (not usually wishing for the boys though, sorry). We had such a marvelous time laughing and giggling.
Monday we went downtown shopping and to IKEA. I had to buy a bag at IKEA because the bag I brought along was too small. We ended the day really tired, mainly because we took Richard to the airport at 5:30 am.
Tuesday we went to Maryhill museum and stonehenge (replica). It was a great day. Christina (Loradona's roommate) came with us and then spent the night. We saw lots of "homeless cows" and one really cute contruction worker. After we came home we played Settlers of Catan and gigled some more.
On Wednesday Loradona got her hair cut (it looks really good) and we did more shopping. But mainly stayed home and relaxed.
On Thursday we went to Bullwinkles. What a blast! We did bumper boats (in which we were totally soaked by some middle schoolers). We played miniture golf, twice (where I must say I beat Loradona both times). We did batting cages, I didn't do as well this time, I think it was the helmet. Still fun though. We also did Go-Karts. That was scarry at first, but as I got going it was fun. Loradona and I both got schooled by everyone.
On Friday we went to the beach. We ate at Mo's (yummmm) and did bumber cars, TWICE. I don't think I ever laugh as hard as when I am doing bumper cars.
All in all a really great week, and I hope that it can last in my memory forever.
Love to you all.

Jacques and the Mermaid

2009-03-21T21:24:00.003-07:00

Heh heh heh. Enjoy, lovers of aquatic life!
Oregon Lottery "Jacques" from Robin Willis on Vimeo.

Fun Video

2009-03-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

This is a fun video, it made me laugh. And when something makes me laugh, I want to share it.
Love you all.

Kindergarteners are the best!

2009-02-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

It is only my second day subbing at the local elementary school and I had a little kindergarten girl wave at me while I was getting kids on the bus. She waved in that way that said "Bye, Teacher" with her whole arm. I loved it. I said that I would see her tomorrow. You can't buy that kind of devotion. I would love to have it everyday. But alas, it will only last this week.
Love you all.

San Diego

2009-01-29T14:05:00.000-08:00

For those of you that don't know, we visited Clifford in San Diego over the MLK holiday. He is there doing some training. Unfortunately Jill was not able to come with him. We had a marvelous time visiting and spending time together.
The weather! It was so great! It was warm and sunny. Not too hot, not too cold, not humid, juuusst riiiight (like Goldilocks would say).
The following are a few pictures I took while we were there.
Love you all.

Dreams

2009-01-29T09:08:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to blog about San Diego, and I will, I promise. But I had to blog about this before I forgot it.
Last night I had a dream. We had just bought a surplus copy machine from the Navy. The big kind, like they have in offices or schools. So one night I am looking at it and a hand comes out. Now, I am not freaked out by the hand coming out of this machine, I don't know why. I somehow know that it is a sailor's hand (because we purchased it from the Navy?). I notice that he is wearing a CTR ring, so I grab his hand (to shake it?). He pulls back like he is not expecting that. The next thing I know there are all kinds of government people there, FBI, CIA, Secret Service, I don't know, just a lot. Richard is asking me what I did. When I told him, he can't believe I would grab the hand. "But he had a CTR ring on" I say. He still couldn't believe that I would do that. Like I should know better.
Weird dream, but fun none the less.
Love you all.

Her name is Lilia Rebekah

2008-12-29T11:40:00.000-08:00

Clifford called this morning at 5:00 am our time (10 pm Monday his time).
In his usual style he told us all about the ultra sound and how healthy the baby is etc. until he got to the information we were all waiting to hear. It is a girl and her name is Lilia Rebekah. She is perfectly healthy and normal.
So, my first grandchild will be a girl. Yeah!
Love you all.

The many faces of Me

2008-12-21T17:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, please don't think I'm crazy, but I have three "voices" in my head. You know how in cartoons the character has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? Well it's kind of like that. But here's where it does get a little crazy. Of late I have started to name them. Here they are:
Debbie: She is the child. She is easily hurt. She also doesn't speak up for herself.
Debra: She is mostly just me. She is kind and generous and smart.
Bea: (I wanted to call this one "B****" but Debra wouldn't let me ;) ) She is mean and sarcastic. She "doesn't care" what others think. She is also very opinionated and judgmental.
Now that I've introduced you to all the the many Me's, what do you think? Am I crazy? Has that train left the station years ago? Or am I just the creative artistic type?
Whatever it is, sometimes it helps me when I tell Bea to "SHUT UP".
Love you all

Tag, you're it!

2008-12-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

My favorite daughter-in-law tagged everyone that read this on their blog, so I am doing the same. Love you all.

The ones in bold are what I have done....
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie/commercial
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter -ha no... but I think my son has a few times...
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

I tag anyone that reads this.
SO many of these I would LOVE to do

Why is it always me?

2008-12-05T07:34:00.000-08:00

I went to a sub job today that I had been prearranged for. Yesterday she trained me how to do some things. I show up and low and behold, someone else had taken the job. The employee that I was subbing for didn't request me, they just sent it out. So someone else picked up the job.
I got there and the secretary said, "I'm sorry, it's her call. She's the one on the list". The person calls while I am standing there and says that she is running late because of traffic. The secretary talks to her and explains the situation. She says "I'm dressed and on my way, I might as well come". WELL I'M DRESSED AND HERE! I wanted to say that but I didn't. I said "No problem, call me anytime", and gave them my card with numbers on it.
But here is the thing that REALLY chaps me: A while back the same thing happened to me, except I was the one whose name was on the list. Guess what! Yeah, I had to go home.
This whole thing really ticks me off.
The other thing is that yesterday I left some things there that I'm going to have to go back for sometime today (I didn't remember until after I left).
Hope things are going better for you.

Puppies

2008-11-22T22:12:00.000-08:00

Where did I get this website? I don't remember...Loradona?
Anyway, it makes me laugh whenever I watch it. Sometimes the puppies are asleep, sometimes they are playing. Always cute.
http://cdn1.ustream.tv/swf/4/viewer.45.swf?cid=317016
Love to you all.

Dreams or are they nightmares

2008-11-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

In honor of my daughters I am going to tell about the weird dream I had last night.
I dreamed that Jane (Nick & Lacy's Mom) died. It was really sad, it was very sudden. She apparently got shot at a fast food place.
This is were it gets really self serving. In my dream I thought, "Maybe they will hire me to replace her. I have subbed for her sometimes."
Then at one point I woke up and remembered my dream, but I went right back to sleep. Then I continued dreaming. And in my dream I was able to save her from being killed, because I had dreamed it was able to stop it. I was this big hero because not only did I save Jane, but I also saved the man who would have shot Jane. Now he doesn't have to go through life having killed someone, not to mention prison.
But the really bizarre thing is, that I already had told her husband, Tony that I dreamed that she was going to be killed. So he went ahead and had a memorial service for her. When I got to the service, I said that she wasn't dead, that I had saved her (and the gunman). I told Tony that Jane was going to say to him, "You had a WHAT?"
I do believe that I redeemed myself in the end.
Love to you all.

My funny brother

2008-11-16T19:43:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention this funny thing about my birthday (the 12th, Julie).
Richard and I went on a hike that morning, it was really lovely. My cell phone rang and it was my brother and he sang, "Happy birthday to you. Even though you're fifty two. You're still my little sister, happy birthday to you."
Pretty funny.
Love to you all.

Jeans

2008-11-15T10:26:00.000-08:00

So I went shopping for jeans the other day and for all of you that don't know, I have really short legs. I also wear a large size (we won't mention the exact size).
So I am looking in the "Women's" section. I can not find anything in this section with "short" or "petite". So, across the aisle was the "Petite" section. So, silly me, I went to look over there. There was a whole rack of jeans, but they are 0-6. But here was the thing that surprised me: This rack of petite jeans had panels in them, to "make you look slimmer". Why would someone who is a size 0 need to look slimmer? I don't get it. There were no such jeans in the Women's section.
Love to you all.

More Pictures of Our Cabin

2008-11-14T20:13:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple of pictures of the inside of Our Cabin. Pretty cozy.

Here is the view from the deck. This is Lake Marie. Named after a female trapper...

Birthday at the Beach

2008-11-13T09:37:00.000-08:00

Every year for the past few years we have gone to the beach for my birthday. At first it was for my birthday and Jeanette's. But sadly, she has not been able to join us since going off to college in another state.
This year we stayed at what I am going to refer to as "Our Cabin" it is a lovely little cabin with a beautiful view of Lake Marie, near Winchester Bay. Totally rustic and cozy. I loved it.
On Monday we stopped in Drain to see Loradona and to have lunch with her. It was fun to see her in her element. The waitress at the place where we ate knew Loradona and told us we have a very special daughter (we already knew that).
We proceeded on to our destination at the Oregon Coast and Our Cabin. The day was marvelous. We unpacked and started dinner. Loradona got there for dinner and then we roasted marshmallows over an open fire, under the slightly cloudy sky. We made S'mores and talked until the firewood was gone and the fire died down. That night it poured and we were snug and warm in Our Cabin.
The next day we all went on a hike around the lake. We saw newts and heard frogs. It was a nice way to start the day. There was a little rain during our walk, but nothing to keep these Oregonians in.
Later, we went into Florence to have lunch at Mo's (The best clam chowder in the world). But before we got to Mo's, Florence had it's Veterans Day Parade. It was fun, watching from the overhang of a building so we could stay dry. Yes, by that time it was really raining!
We also did actually go to the beach. The rain was coming down sideways! The interesting thing is, it wasn't cold. As long as we were able to stay dry, we were able to stay warm.
After lunch, Loradona had to leave and Richard and I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening just reading an relaxing.
On my birthday we went on a hike at Bolod Island. It was a fun. More newts and a snake.
It was a great day. The only down side to it was when we got home I had a missed call from Jill (I love you Jill!). Lots of calls from people wishing me "Happy Birthday" It was a good day.
Love you all.

The picture!

2008-11-05T21:11:00.001-08:00

Clifford with his helicopter

2008-11-04T12:13:00.000-08:00

I have joined an online chat group at Navy for Moms. It's nice to see what other moms are saying about their sons. I posted a few pictures on my site and they put one of them as a "featured photo". Cool, huh? If you want to see it (they may change it soon I don't know) you can go to:
http://www.navyformoms.com/photo It is titled "Cliffordw/helo".
I have to say it is a cool picture.
Love to you all.

Jelly Bean

2008-10-24T16:59:00.000-07:00

With a title like that you would think that I am going talk about my favorite Easter treat. No. I am introducing you to my grandbaby: Jelly Bean: Due May 21st in Japan. Yes, Clifford's wife Jill is expecting! Fun stuff!
Love you all.

Fidgety Fingers

2008-10-07T16:12:00.001-07:00

My apologies go out to Clifford. I used to get on his case for having fidgety fingers. I have discovered that he may have got it from me.
My whole life I have bitten my nails. In the last few months I have had my nails done, so I am unable to bite them. What to do with my hands and fingers now that I don't bite my nails? Well, I do a lot of drumming and the like. But basically my fingers are fidgety. I don't open and close the remote (I'll write about that in a minute), but I find that my fingers like to stay busy.

The remote: Clifford used to open and closer the cover of the T.V. remote (where the batteries are), which is why all our remotes have rubber bands around them to keep them together.
Lately our T.V. died. We took it to a recycling place and paid them to take it off our hands. We did not take the remote with it. When I found the remote (with the rubber band on it), I said to Richard, "Ah, this makes me think of Clifford" he said "Throw it away!" I said "Maybe we should put it on the wall in his room next to his cub scout shirt". Richard came into the front room and took it from me and threw it in the trash.
We still have the VCR remote with the rubber band on it.
Love you all.

WooHoo!!

2008-09-24T20:19:00.000-07:00

WooHoo!! (Doing the Snoopy dance)

Ta Daa! The house's new coat.

2008-09-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

This is just what you were waiting for, I know.
Here is a picture of the new paint job on the house. It is a dark plum color, it doesn't matter what your monitor makes it look like.
Now that I look at it, the numbers are a little wonky. I may have to fix that.
Love to you all.

Just web surfing

2008-09-18T21:42:00.001-07:00

This morning I woke up feeling kind of yucky. I didn't sleep well and my head hurt, etc. So I went surfing on the web and this is what I found. It somehow made me feel better.
I guess we now know what a Scotsman wears under his kilt.
Love to you all.

Work...or lack there of

2008-09-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed the summer off. It was nice to visit Loradona and help her move. It was great to see Clifford and Jill before they moved to Japan. I loved staying with Jeanette and Kyler while I attended Education Week.
Now I am ready to start work again. But NOBODY is needing substitutes. I have had three sub jobs this month, four if you count the Jan's Paperback job I had one day. I hope this is not an indication to what this year is going to be like. I guess I will just have to wait for that flu epidemic to hit.
Love you all.

Education Week

2008-08-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

Last week I went to Education Week at BYU. It was fantastic, I loved it.
I was looking over my notes and trying to come up with some wonderful insights that I discovered. Most of them are just notes to myself, that may mean nothing to anybody else. But there was one class by Michael Wilcox that was really good. I will try and share some of it here.
As part of his class (which was Applying the Ancient Scriptures in Modern Settings), he talked about abuse of women and if a woman has been abused how can she find something in the scriptures for her. Then he quoted in Jacob 2:35 (problem) and then Jacob 3:1 (solution or in this case comfort). I thought it was wonderful how such a modern day problem could be helped by scriptures.
The week was full of insights into the scriptures and modern day prophets. I LOVED it.
The other great thing about the week was staying with Jeanette and Kyler. You'll have to ask Jeanette and Kyler, how Kyler tried to seduce me ;)
Love you all.

Momma Mia!

2008-07-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

I just saw the movie "Momma Mia". It is the most fun I've had at the movies in a LONG time. I laughed so hard and I cried too. It was GREAT! I highly recommend it.
GO SEE MOMMA MIA!
Love you all.

Kids

2008-07-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

Last night as I was laying in bed, I thought about writing here this morning about how I realized that this is the first summer in nearly 30 years that I haven't had my children (or at least a child) home to spend the summer with. And I thought how I missed my kids and how sad it is not to have someone to spend these glorious summer days with.
Then this morning I got news of a friend who's teenage daughter drowned recently on a summer vacation trip. My heart goes out to her. I can not imagine that kind of loss, I hope I NEVER have to know it.
I am thankful that even though my children are all far away, they are health and happy. I still miss them, but not the way that Patrice will miss Mallory.
Love you all.

What's with the negative vibes...

2008-07-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

Something that I am noticing more and more. Most people are negative. I include myself, some of the time. I try and be positive about things, in fact sometimes I'm a bit like Polly Anna. But even I can be negative, especially about myself. For example, I can eat really healthy most of the time, but if I go to Burger King, I get down on myself. Why is that? Yes, I know that fast food in general is not good for me, but it doesn't make me a bad person because I ate at Burger King.
But the thing that gets to me is when people refer to other people in a negative tone. I wish we could see peoples good qualities (including our own) and just look past the not so good. Instead of seeing someone as having messy hair, we can notice that their eyes are really pretty. Or whatever.
We are so hard on ourselves, that we don't need help in that aspect.
Maybe we just need to see ourselves and others the way Heavenly Father sees us.
Love to you all.

Things do get better

2008-07-08T09:27:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday (as I mentioned) I had a bad morning. It got much better after that. I had lunch with 12 or so other women and it was a blast! We ate at Claim Jumpers, I did not have dessert, I may have to go there and get a dessert to go for a crowd. It looked really good.
I also have a surprise for my anniversary. I am keeping it a secret, he doesn't know about it yet, but I think he is going to LOVE it. I can hardly wait until our anniversary. I don't think I have ever been this excited for my anniversary before.
Love to you all.

My terrible no good rotten day - and it's not even lunch yet

2008-07-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

My day started out good with the contractor calling at 7:30 am (not bad, I'm up usually by 7). They want to come and do the last small things that have not been done (finally). "What time are you coming?" I ask, knowing that they no longer have a key to my house. "8:30" was the reply, no problem. At 9:10 they finally knocked on the door. I told them that yes, the sink is still leaking. I have to go. I start to back out and CRASH! I have hit the workman's truck. He is parked just to the left of center in the driveway. Just enough that I don't see him in my rear view mirror. I ask him nicely to move his truck. I continue on to the gym. Once at the gym I realize that I don't have my lock with me. Figuring that with my luck today someone would get into my unlocked locker and steal all my credit cards and my ID. So, I decided that I should pay the .50 (more on this later) to get a locking locker. I think I have everything out of my locker that I want: my book, water, towel and ear phones so I proceed to close the locker. When I realize that I don't have my glasses, so I can not read my book. Oh well, I can still watch TV with my ear phones. My ear phones don't work. Great, it goes along with everything else.
After the gym I decide to go to Royal Moore to get an estimate on my damaged bumper. Now remember it is a bump about the size of a softball and it broke the red part of the break light but the inside white glass is still intact. The estimate, (which by the way totaled my car) is: $1,472.34 Amazing!

Cold

2008-07-05T19:16:00.000-07:00

So I survived camp, but I came down with this cold on Tuesday of camp. I thought I would feel better after the blessing that I got on Wednesday of camp, but that is not what happened. In all fairness the blessing just said I would be able to do my calling etc. at camp, and I was. But I thought I would feel better by now, and I'm just so tired. I would like to sleep and sleep. But there are always things to do and I feel like a slug if I am not doing them. So, this is me going to bed really early tonight. That should do the trick. Right?
Love to you all.

They want more pictures...

2008-06-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Clifford says he wants more pictures of the kitchen, well here they are:
This is the sink with the little tilt out drawer open.

Here is the front closed.

Here is the appliance garage open.

Here it is closed. I love that I can put all the crap in here.

Ta Daa!

2008-06-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

After much anticipation the kitchen is 99% done (just a few trim etc things to take care of).
Here is the finished work.

How are things going? You may be asking....

2008-05-12T17:29:00.000-07:00

This is the first cabinet we took out. It was FUN!
So that we will alway remember the ugly cabinets and of course the wallpaper boarder.

The kitchen is pretty stark. Everything looks prettier than it did. We painted over the weekend. Tomorrow we get the floors and Wednesday we get the cabinets (Yeah!).
Living without a kitchen is a little annoying, but not as bad as I thought. I not nearly as bad as living without a bathroom. I hope to NEVER do that again.
Enjoy the pictures.
Love to you all.

Here's a joke for you

2008-04-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

Today I was working at good ol' Hazeldale. I happened to be in the library when the librarian (NOT like Marian at all), told the kids this joke.
"Did you hear about the man that cut off the left side of his body?" "Gasp, No!" "Oh, don't worry, he's all right".
Love to you all.

Happy Birthday My Son

2008-04-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Clifford's birthday. Recently I read the book, Rejoice by Karen Kingsbury. In it the mom in the book wrote a poem for her son on the event of his wedding. I loved the poem so much that I sent it to Clifford yesterday for his birthday. Yes, it made me cry. But not in sadness, more in melancholy. I miss the infant and toddler stage sometimes. And I miss my kids all the time.
Here is the poem by Karen Kingsbury:

Long ago you came to me, a miracle of firsts
First smiles and teeth and baby steps, a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away and leave to me your past.
And I will be left thinking of a lifetime of your lasts.

The last time that I held a bottle to your baby lips…
Last time that I lifted you and held you on my hip…
Last time when you had a binky stuck inside you mouth…
The last time that you crawled across the floor of this old house.

Last time when you ran to me, still small enough to hold,
Last time when you said you’d marry me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and bright flashes from the past,
Would I have held you longer if I’d known they were the last?

Your last few hours of kindergarten, last days of first grade…
Last at bat in Little League, last colored paper made.
Last time that I tucked you in for one last midday nap…
Last time when you wore your beat-up Green Bay Packers cap.

Last time you caught a frog in that old backyard pond…
Last time when you ran barefoot across our fresh-cut lawn.
Silly scattered images to represent your past.
Would I have taken pictures…if I’d known they were the last?

The last dark night you slipped in bed and slept between us two,
When last I read to you of God or Horton Hears a Who!
Last time that I smelled your hair and prayed after your shower…
Last time that we held devotions in the evening hours.

The last time you were M.J.in our games of give-and-go…
Last time that you made an angel in the melting snow.
I never even said good-bye to yesterdays long passed.
Would I have marked the moments…if I’d known they were the last?

Last piano lesson, and last soccer goal you kicked…
The last few weeks of middle school, last flowers that you picked
Last time that you needed me for rides from here to there…
The last time that you spent the night with that old tattered bear.

Last time that I helped you with a math or spelling test,
Last time when I shouted that your room was still a mess.
Time and life moved quicker, taking pieces of your past.
Would I have stretched the moments…if I’d known they were the last?

The last time that you need help with details of a dance…
Last time that you asked me for advice about romance.
Last time that you talked to me about your hopes and dreams.
Last time that you wore a jersey for your high school team.

I watched you grow and never noticed seasons as they passed.
I wish I could’ve frozen time, to hold on to your lasts.
For come tomorrow morning life will never be the same.
You’ll pledge forever to your girl, and she will take your name.
And I will watch you, knowing God has blessed you with this day.
I never would have wanted, Luke, to somehow make you stay.
They say a son’s a son until he takes for him a wife.
You’re grown-up now; it’s time to go and start you brand-new life.

One last hug, one last good-bye, one quick and hurried kiss…
One last time to understand just how much you’ll be missed.
I’ll watch you leave and think how quickly childhood sped past.
Would I have held on longer…if I’d known it was your last?

Karen Kingsbury – From the book Rejoice

Love to you all.

The Parable of The Lost Camera

2008-03-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

On Sunday Loradona mentioned some items not to forget on our trip to Utah next week. Among those items was my camera.
I could not find it anywhere. By biggest worry was that it was left somewhere and I couldn't even remember where that place would be.
So, I looked in all the normal (and not so normal) places. Could not find it.
Then I cleaned off dressers, under the bed, the desk, the CORNER in my bedroom...NOTHING.
While I was talking to Jeanette I thought, "I need to take everything out from behind the desk, (it is where I keep some of my art work) and see if it is there". So after I hung up from Jeanette I looked behind a box that was between the desk and the wall. And clear back in the corner (shoved back by the box apparently) was my camera, safe and sound in it's case.
It's just like the coin the the biblical story, only modernized.
I also found a First Tech CU pen - in orange!
Love you all.

Here we go again

2008-03-06T07:38:00.001-08:00

I really hate it when a salesman of any kind tells me, "This deal is only good today, tomorrow the price goes up". So when Sears came to give me an estimate on new cabinets and counters for the kitchen and then ends with a statement close to that one, I am immediately put off. But what happens the next day? Someone from Sears calls and says that they have a deal that they can make us if we let them come again. I let them come again, but I'm not sure I like their tactics. Just give me the stupid estimate and be on your way. If I like your style or price or both I will choose you, otherwise forget it.
This is why with the bathroom I just went with the guy that came first.
There is another guy that is coming on Monday to give me an estimate that can do more than Sears (construction stuff that Sears doesn't get into). So we shall see what he says.
If I survive this next level of remodel it will be a miracle.
Love to you all.

Work

2008-03-04T07:52:00.000-08:00

I don't mind subbing but I've decided that I want a regular job. The perfect one would be three times a week - maybe a job share.
Sometimes subbing is such a crap shoot. I signed up for a secretary job yesterday and it was all classroom aid stuff. Which isn't bad, but most of it is in Spanish speaking classrooms. So, the teachers generally had me doing copies or cutting out things for them. I don't mind doing that, but I feel like I'm being wasted. I can do a lot more than that. Richard just says "Well, as long as they pay you the same". But I want to feel useful and needed.
Love you all.

Back on the wagon

2008-01-10T22:09:00.000-08:00

Well before the "Holidays" I quit Weight Watchers. Oh, I still went to meetings and all but I really wasn't doing anything Weight Watchery. So this week, starting Sunday I decided to "get back on the wagon", so to speak. The more I think about that phrase the more I like it.
Here I was trying to follow the wagon around and it just wasn't working. Oh, I hadn't totally forgotten the wagon, but I wasn't exactly on it either.
So now I am on the wagon. And you know what? It's HARD, dang it! It's bumpy and rough and not easy at all. Why couldn't the phrase be "Back on the train"? The train goes fast and is comfortable, but NO! It's a wagon. Sometimes I even think I'm pushing the wagon. Where are those dang horses anyway. Is it worth it? I keep telling myself that it is.
The song that is stuck in my head: "I'm back in the saddle again".
Love you all.

7 random things

2007-12-16T07:26:00.000-08:00

Loradona ( http://loradona.livejournal.com/ ) wrote about seven random things and now it is my turn.

I lived in 17 different houses in the first 18 years of my life. Also, four grade schools, two middle schools and 3 high schools
I have three children, but I always wanted four.
I woke up this morning at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep.
I got hit by a car when I was five - no harm it only hit my head.
I would rather have snow than almost any other weather.
Someday I hope to take a cruise to the Mediterranean with my husband.
I love chocolate cake.

There you go, now if you want to, you can do random things too.
Love you all.

Done, done, done!!!!!

2007-12-11T15:16:00.000-08:00

The remodeler was here yesterday and finally finished the last touches of the bathroom. He put in the shelf and finished painting it yesterday.
I then spent the rest of the morning with my head in the brand new toilet - fun stuff.
In other news, I am done, done, done with Christmas shopping! Yeah for me. Now to concentrate on the true feelings of Christmas. AND getting my house ready for visitors. But that is the fun stuff.
Merry Christmas to all.
Love you all.

Bathroom updates

2007-12-01T19:39:00.000-08:00

In case anyone cares, the bathroom is....(drum roll) almost done. It is still not 100% done. I believe that he is coming on Monday to do the last of it. The only thing that needs doing is a small shelf above the counter for me to put my pretty glass things. I will be glad when it is done, done, done!
Love to you all.

Just kick your heels together...

2007-11-19T21:35:00.000-08:00

Well, we are home tonight. Richard said that maybe we should have stayed at his mom's one more night. But I was bound and determined to sleep in my own bed tonight. I don't know what the morning will bring with the bath and all. There is no faucet, just a pipe coming out of the wall. Fun! It feels a little like we are roughing it or something.
Tomorrow the plumber comes out to put the faucet on and Wednesday we get painted. Thursday is Turkey Day and all the excitement that entails. I need to put together my house with nowhere to put anything yet.
Oh, well. It still feels good to be home.
Love you all.

The Bathroom

2007-11-19T06:56:00.000-08:00

Well, we have a working toilet! Let the villagers rejoice!
By the end of today, we may have a working shower. The tile look really pretty. You should come see it :) All are welcome.
Love you all.

No Toilet

2007-11-14T19:03:00.000-08:00

There is still no toilet.
I am reminded of Jeanette. "It is not growing. It is still not growing..."
I just hope that it does not get moldy.
Love to you all.

Update on the remodel

2007-11-13T20:35:00.000-08:00

We do not have a toilet. We do not have a shower. We do not have a sink. What DO we have, you may ask. Well, we have a really pretty floor. We have a pretty light fixture that is also a fan. You can turn the fan on separately. As of today we have drywall.
On the upside the cat seems to have made friends with every single workman that has come into our home, until they make noise and then she is gone.
Well, here's to tomorrow. Maybe a toilet, we'll see.
Love to you all.

The Bathroom Remodel

2007-11-05T10:12:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, October 31st they (John the Remodeler and Edwardo, his assistant) tore apart my bathroom. The tub went, the toilet went, the sink and the vanity went. Also, most of the floor went to the dump. It was a little depressing to look at my bathroom with nothing in it, but I thought this would all be for the greater good. I will soon have a new bathroom.
Here we are on Monday and it doesn't look that much different than Thursday. There is a floor (not a real floor, a "sub-floor". In case the real floor can't show up we have a sub in place?), there also are glass blocks in place of a window.
I cannot go to the bathroom or shower or brush my teeth, or even wash clothes. The water is turned off.
The plumber is suppose to come today and put in the tub. Maybe he will put in the toilet at the same time. That would be nice. But I'm not counting on it.
On the upside it helps to keep my mind off where Clifford is and what he might be doing or being done to him in SERE training.
I love you all.

Church

2007-08-20T17:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the only reason I go to church is because I have a testimony.
Blah!

Death and Cigarettes

2007-05-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

My mother died. I don't feel all that sad. I'm more sad at the missed opportunities. Because of alcohol she wasn't the mother she should have been (I won't go into things here, a least not right now). And because of cigarettes she lost 20 years of life. How do I figure 20 years, you might ask. My grandmother died at the age of 96, she had never smoked. Her daughter (my mother) died at 76, thus 20 years. But that is not all. For the past 12 years or so she hasn't done much because of smoking related causes. Her quality of life was seriously reduced. My grandmother had a good quality of life until about the last 2 or 3 years. Thus I figure cigarettes took nearly 30 years away from my mother! How sad is that. I wish I could tell people, especially young people that smoke, how important it is not to start smoking or to quite right away. Save your life! Or at least 30 years of it.
Love to you all.

Frustration

2007-04-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew why I get so frustrated and stressed. I just feel like there is too much to do or something.
I took my mom to the doctor today to have her hearing tested. "How did that go?" You may ask. After going through Wendy's drive through to get myself a chicken sandwich and eating it in the car on the way, I got to my mom's and put her wheel chair in the car along with her portable oxygen and the oxygen that is attached to the wheelchair. We drive through traffic along T.V. Hwy and BeavertonHilldale Hwy (Auuugg, need I say more?) We got there with about 10 minutes to spare (not bad). My mom can't find her Kaiser card, this makes her mad and grumpy, but not the Kaiser people, they are nice and friendly. We go in to see the Audiologist and she can't do the test because her ears are plugged with wax (lovely picture, I know). So we go see a doctor, he tries but can't do it either. She has to have drops in her ears and then an appointment to get her ears cleaned and then an appointment to get her ears tested. The only appointment I could make was on a day I'm suppose to work. I'm not looking forward to that conversation.
I thought I would redeem the day by going to the Reedville Cafe and my mom and I could get a piece of keylime pie. I was very disappointed. The crust was so tough that I had a hard time cutting it with my fork and it just wasn't that good.
So that was my frustrating day. I hope that yours was better.
Love to you all.

Dreams - or are they nightmares

2007-03-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night. I was getting ready for the reception (Jeanette's I'm assuming). I realize that I am not dressed (no, I am not naked). It is 20 minutes until the reception starts. Richard and Loradona are already lining up and people are already arriving. One of the Whitnah girls had been helping to set up and I said to her "Do you want to come with me to get a dress" She says "Okay" I was going SHOPPING for the dress with 20 minutes until the reception started!
I told Richard that dream (nightmare) and he said "As if!"
Have a really wonderful day.
Love to you all.

Mother of the Bride

2007-03-10T19:12:00.000-08:00

I have been the mother of the groom, but now I get to be The Mother of The Bride. Yes, Jeanette - my baby is getting married. I talked to Maria (the mother of the groom) today. Now I need to:

Get a date out of Jeanette and Kyler
Figure out a place for the reception
Find a photographer
Make a dress
Order invitations

And a lot of other things that I can't even think of right now.
Oh, and I have to get my mom's house ready to sell.
Love to you all.

The Blues

2007-03-01T09:12:00.000-08:00

I've done some thinking this week (amazing, I know). I had a day this week that I was feeling depressed and sorry for myself. Nothing serious, we all feel that way sometimes. I got to thinking what helps when I'm feeling that way?
Exercise helps, it really does. So does shopping, if I have money. If I'm depressed because I have no money, then shopping does NOT help. One thing that is interesting to me is, short term, reading my scriptures does NOT help. It is too hard to concentrate. But in the long run, reading scriptures on a consistent basis does help to not have too many episodes. Sometimes sleeping helps, sometimes not. Taking a shower almost always helps. Watching TV does NOT help. Last but not least, seeing Betty Carol ALWAYS helps.
Love to you all.

Work

2007-02-23T06:31:00.000-08:00

I've started a pro con list on changing jobs. The pro list is longer. Now I need to find the new job. I don't think I want to quit this job before I have a new job, that just seems stupid. But it is a little nerve racking, I mean sometimes it feels like it's better with the devil you know than the devil you don't. Well, we shall see. Maybe I won't even get a new job and then I won't have anything to worry about.
I will have to post my pro con list soon.
Love to you all.

The Wedding Week

2007-02-22T08:56:00.000-08:00

It was a really wonderful week (mostly). The wedding was wonderful. The girls did a great job with Clifford's car. The reception was a blast, big thanks to Clifford and his buddies.
One of my favorite times of the week was Friday night. We were able to talk, laugh and cry (well, me at least) as a family for one more time.
It is wonderful to have three daughters now.
It was great to talk to Clifford on Monday while we were at the airport. He sounded so happy and stress free.
Loradona and I had a really nice talk yesterday at lunch. I love it when I feel a real connection to my children.
Love to you all.

The Wedding

2007-01-15T18:00:00.000-08:00

I have a dress! It is really pretty, mauve/lavender with sparkles. I got the dress last Monday and Richard got fitted for the tux last Monday too. Today I got shoes! They are the most gorgeous shoes I've ever had, and they match the dress perfectly. I am almost ready to go to Atlanta. I just have one other project I need to finish.
Love to you all.

Doctor Visit

2007-01-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

So normally I don't enjoy a doctor visit, but this last one was such a mixture of good news, bad news I'm not sure what to think.
First he tells me I should be a poster child (yes, he said "child") for someone taking care of their diabetes.
He asks me if there is anything that is bothering me. I say "yes, my hip". A couple of years ago I said my hip hurt, he had it x-rayed and it was "normal". This time I just wanted to know why it hurts. He had me go through a series of moves, and declared..."I'm sorry, you have osteoarthritis". So, I should keep exercising (very important), lose weight and kiss my career as ballet dancer goodbye.
Then he gave me the REALLY bad news. He is retiring in June. So now I have to find a doctor that I like as well as him. :(
Love to you all.

Dreams

2006-12-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

I had a fun dream the other night. I dreamt that I was at this large park. And we were attending a picnic with a large gathering of people. Something like a family reunion or a Church picnic. Someone came up to me and said, "You've lost a lot of weight" "Oh, thanks" I say. "I was just getting ready to go for a run." And I take off in a nice jog. I go towards this path and if I take the path one way it goes up hill and if I take it another way it goes down. I remember thinking that I wanted to take it up hill to start so that I could go down hill on the way back when I'm tired. So that is the way I started, but I never got my run in because I woke up.
Here is my question: If I would have run in my dream, does that count for my exercise for the day? Also, would I wake up tired if I went on a run in my dream?
My favorite part of the dream was when the person said that I lost weight. People have actually been saying that to me lately. It is pretty fun. But I don't plan on starting to run, I like walking, thank you.
Love to you all.

Wedding Plans

2006-12-02T17:01:00.000-08:00

I wish I could go online and find a blog that would give me an update on the wedding plans. Sometimes I feel a little out of it. I know that the wedding gown is coming a long (I even have a vague description, but I can't say anything because Clifford could be reading this). I know that they are getting the invitations soon and will start addressing them when they get them (I should be working on the addresses rather than be here, actually). I know that they have a Southern Plantation to have the reception at. (Ashley, Rhett oh which one will dance with me at the reception?). I guess I know a lot of what is going on. I am very excited!
I really should be thinking about the Engagement Party. It is happening in four weeks. FOUR WEEKS?!!!! I gotta go.
Love to you all.

My birthday

2006-11-16T09:03:00.000-08:00

My birthday celebration started on Thursday the 9th. Debbie and Linda at work gave me coupon for a 1/2 hour massage. Then Shanna came in and gave me a bag of goodies (not food). It had earrings, necklace, lotion, sunglasses, gloves and maybe other stuff that I am forgetting. Then Richard brought me lunch (Wendy's salad).
Friday morning we caught a Max train to downtown and went to the art museum where we saw an exhibit on ancient Egypt. Very cool. It even had a mummy! Afterward we went to lunch at a new little Italian place near Super Dogs. I had a seafood salad that was WONDERFUL!
On Saturday we drove to Corvallis to have dinner with Loradona at McGraths. Loradona gave me the CD Wicked (it's wicked cool - ha ha).
Sunday, my actual birthday Richard made me breakfast of pancakes and sausage(yum). In the evening we had the one grandma over for dinner. After which I opened two more presents. The one from Mom had a cook book holder that matches my napkin holder also some lotion soap that she has that I like and $ to buy me something. Then I opened the one from Richard it was a....(drum roll) DIGITAL CAMERA! How cool is THAT!
Then yesterday I went shopping with my birthday money and I got a pair of plum cords in a size smaller than I've worn in a LONG time. I also got a sweater that is really pretty, but I'm not going to try and describe it because it will just sound stupid and it's not, it's really pretty. I also got a VERY impractical pair of pointy toed boots (not long, short like you would wear with pants), but they are really comfortable so that was surprising.
Fun times.
Love to you all.

Surgery

2006-10-18T22:21:00.000-07:00

My mom is having surgery tomorrow. I have to have her at the hospital at 6:30 am. Which means I should get up at 5:15. I should go to bed now.
I'm just so tired of going, going, going. I want to just do nothing, just for a little while.
Goodnight.
Love to you all.

Big announcements!

2006-10-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

Wow! In a weeks time two of my children have made big announcements. It's a very exciting time. I had always said that my children will all get married with in 6 months of each other, but I guess that is not going to happen. But the idea of my prediction is still intact. With Clifford getting married and Jeanette going on a mission a couple of months apart, what's next? Loradona?
Love to you all

Secrets

2006-10-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, the secret is out. CLIFFORD IS GETTING MARRIED! That was the secret. I couldn't tell anyone. So now you all know.
Love to you all.

I hope they call me on a mission...

2006-10-09T17:16:00.000-07:00

Jeanette is going on a mission! I was very excited last night when she told me. I kept thinking "What happened to my little girl? She is so grown up and mature". Then Loradona and I were talking about where she could go and we finally had to just stop, because we were just "what ifing".
Then today I was still excited, until I realized that she is going to be GONE for 18 months. I will not be able to call her and say, "Guess what?" on a regular basis. And I felt sad. But only in a very selfish way. I still am glad that she has decided to go.
Fun stuff!
Love to you all.

Rain

2006-09-20T16:16:00.000-07:00

It has started to rain. I'm not sure how I feel about that. That means I can lie in bed at night and listen to the beautiful sound of the rain. On the other hand I can't ride my bike to work anymore, so that is sad. But my bike has a flat tire, so maybe I have to wait to ride it anyway. So I guess I will enjoy the rain.
Love to you all.

Secrets

2006-09-02T16:30:00.000-07:00

Some secrets I feel comfortable keeping, maybe even honored to keep. Others wiggle around inside me and want to come out. But I will NOT let them out, they have to stay put until it is time. And THEN and only then can they come out and NOT be secrets anymore.
Love to you all.

Feelings...nothing more than feelings...

2006-08-22T20:26:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a little sad. I only have about a week more to spend with Jeanette and then I will be alone all day (and most evenings) again. I'm really not trying to be "Oh, poor Debra". I will just miss hanging out with her most days. It's been fun.
I have applied for 24 different positions in the Beaverton School District. I'm a little tired of hitting my head against that door, when it doesn't open. I'm not sure what to do. I keep thinking that the right job will come along and I will be glad that I waited. But right now I just want to have some encouragement. Maybe if I got a call for an interview and I didn't get the job, at least I would know that my applications haven't been going into a black hole.
I really am not depressed! It was a really wonderful day. I went to the Temple this afternoon and had a wonderful experience (ask me about it). It was a beautiful 70-something day and I really am feeling great.
Love to you all.

Dreams

2006-08-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt about Clifford. Normally that would be good, but in this case it was not.
I think Clifford was in the astronaut program, but he was "weight listed", in my dream that meant that he had to gain some weight or he was out of the program. We were at a restaurant and all these guys were telling him what to do to gain weight. One of them gave him what looked like a joint. I didn't see it until we were out in the parking lot and he put it in the pocket of his flight suit. I was telling him not to do it, because if they found out, he would get kicked out for that and that would be a lot worse. But he was just ignoring me. He got in his really cool car (it looked a little like the car in Batman Begins, only it was red and smaller) and left. And I had to find my car in the dark parking lot.
I know Clifford would NEVER do anything like that. So that's a comfort. But it was an awful feeling. Love to you all.

PARTY!

2006-08-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

Richard is gone for a couple of days. So Jeanette and I decided to party down. We invited Jackie and Sapphire over. We played a rousing game of Rook (Sapphire and I won) and then watched "Better Off Dead" with a very young John Cusack, and part of "Sandlot". By this time it was midnight and Sapphire was falling asleep so we quit the movie and Jackie and Sapphire went home and Jeanette and I went to bed.
A fun time was had by all.
Love to you all.

It sounds like a movie

2006-07-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

In the last week and a half we have had three weddings, one funeral and an anniversary. Not to mention the ward campout. It has been crazy.
There are still some weddings yet to come this summer, but NOT this week.
Love to you all.

It is TOO HOTT!

2006-07-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

You know how some people get depressed in the wintertime because they need sunshine and/or light? Well, I think I'm the opposite. The weather is making me lethargic and depressed. I don't feel like doing anything, because it's too damn hot. Yes, I used a swear word, because that is how much I hate the heat.
I hate the heat so much I want to move to the beach. But Richard just looks at me, with a look that says, "Don't go there. You know we are not moving". But seriously, the weather makes me want to weep.
Love to you all.

Job Search

2006-07-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

I am officially looking for a job. It is better looking for a job when you already have one. I told my bosses that I am looking and they weren't mad or anything. They said they understood. I did not tell them that I was applying for any and all school district jobs that I think I am qualified for. I just told they that I had applied for one.
We'll see. Wish me luck.
Love to you all.

PostOp

2006-07-07T09:12:00.000-07:00

Things don't look too bad. I have stitches on my forehead, but I don't think I'm going to scare any small children. The doctor even gave me a compliment, sort of. He was lamenting that I didn't have any lines in my forehead to hide the scar in. He said I must have had a worry free life. Hah!
As long as I don't try to lift my left eyebrow at all it doesn't hurt...much.
Love to you all.